when words fail
by JoKuL FrOsTi
Summary: takes place after saga. There's something wrong with Alec. he's being antisocial, sad, angry, not even his sister can reach him much anymore. his only comfort is music. so what happens one day when he comes across a new artist on youtube? will her songs possibly save him? and how will he begin to feel about the voice behind the words? will he ever find the girl who saved his life?
1. Chapter 1

this is an idea that popped into my head when I was listening to the amazing Kevin Staudt, and reading Alec fanfics. yup. I hope you enjoy. please, please, I beg of you, one decent person out there please review because I am dying without them. please.

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gift

"Alec." clipped her voice. I rolled my eyes before turning to face her. "yes Jane? what do you want?" "why are you being so rude? it's no very gentlemanly like." "okay, I am sorry. to what reason are you here?" I said. she glared at me in mock threat. she'd never torture me. not like she did others at least. " while Heidi and I were out shopping today, I got you something." "oh really?" I said sarcastically. whenever her or Heidi got me something, it wasn't good. she nodded and removed her hands from her back,where they'd been hiding.

it wasn't some Abercrombie bag or anything like that. it was a small gift bag. "I thought you might lie it because you're in here all day. it's so gloomy. I hate to see you like this." she said. then she turned on her heel and left. I stared at the door for a minute, then looked down at the bag. I stuck my hand inside cautiously. cold be a mouse trap hidden inside. but no, it wasn't.

what I pulled out was a slim, shiny, black and silver MP3 Player. Jane had one, but she never let me touch it. I ran my fingers over it, then set it down on the bed beside me. there was more in the bag. a set of matching headphones, and three I Tunes cards. each for a hundred dollars. that would be a lot of music.

that was something about me. I had a passion for music that no other thing in this castle shared. the lyrics, the beat, the instrument, the emotion behind it, like it had its own life force. one that couldn't be destroyed like I had seen happen to so many. there was a note inside from jane that said " youtube. find music you love. then download it. - Jane" I smiled. Jane was the only person that I loved. she was my twin sister after all.

I set her gifts back inside the bag and dropped it onto my desk. later. I didn't really like "todays" music. it lost the passion I loved and was now mostly just noise. but I did have a lot of favorites. Nickleback, Linkin park, falling in reverse, puddle of mud, flyleaf, paramour, red and then I liked some oldies like Bing Crosby and others. I also like softer music too, like Emily Browning and Madilyn Bailey. as long as the artist had a deep love and emotion for and in their songs, I as a fan. unless it was country, and most christian.

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in the morning, I opened my eyes. I wasn't asleep. Vampires can't sleep. no, I was just laying on my bed all night with my eyes closed. I liked to pretend. it helped better my mood. a knock came on my door. "Alec..." jane sang. "come in." I said before she could ask. the door creaked open and she stepped in. "how are you?" she asked in a caring tone. I was the only one who knew this side of her, and even then, it was when we were alone, and not in front of our masters or anyone else. "why do you ask?" "Alec." she said, her voice angry. "You think I am stupid? you've been like this for a long time. it gets worse every year. maybe you should see Marcus's therapist?" she joked. the sad part was it didn't come out as a joke. I smiled at her. " like you could get me to go near the same therapist as Marcus." I said. "maybe I can, maybe I can't. we'll... see!" she said, poking at my sides. I collapsed into a fit of laughter almost instantly. jane was the only one who knew my tickle spots, for obvious reasons. whose going to be scared of a vampire who still is ticklish? no one. so we made sue no one knew.

after I begged for her to stop for long enough, she sat up. I stayed down, catching my breath and calming down. "Come on Alec. it's nearly noon. Heidi will be back with the groups. we wouldn't want to miss that, would we? Come on!" she whined, dragging me off the bed. I grinned at her as she dragged me to the door. there we stopped, and composed ourselves before heading out. we passed some of the other guards, who avoided us, before going into the throne room, where our masters sat.

"Ah, Alec! we were beginning to worry! it is good to see you out of that cave of yours finally! come, come, it is almost time to feed, I hear Heidi now." Aro said, clapping. Aro can be such a creep sometimes. but he is my master, and I remain loyal. out of fear of what he would do to my sister. and the volturi gave me a liscence to kill.

the doors burst open and Heidi waltzed through in full gaudiness. a tour group behind her. a very large group of tourists. a very good smelling group of tourists. the others showed up, Dimitri, and felix, and some of the guard. the tourists looked around, clearly caught off guard. then they saw our eyes. it was always the same. the hunger grew and we all let ourselves go.

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so what did you guys think of my first chapter? eh, Voilet? please leave reviews because I feel unloved and like my stories suck without them. please?!


	2. Chapter 2

here you guys go! enjoy and thank you SO SO SO much for reviewing! I love you!

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click play

after feeding, I retired to my room once again. I didn't plan on coming back out till I was hungry again. Jane gave me a pleading look, but I turned down the hallway to my room. I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. a moment later, I heard my door open ever so softly. "Yes Jane?" I asked, not opening my eyes. " oh good. I thought you might be numbing yourself again." she said. what she was referring to, was, one time, I looked in a mirror, and curiousity got the best of me, (this is when I was young) and I used my gift. I was out for three days. Jane did something similar, but she was out for two weeks. we got grounded by Aro. since I learned to control my gift, during days that I am very moody, I would look into a mirror and numb myself. Jane would watch over my body during that time I was mentally numb. it was nearly addictive.

she sat down on the bed next to me. "you ok?" she asked. I looked at her. "yeah... stupid question. I know. Alec...what's wrong? why are you like this? tell me. i'm your twin sister." she said, her arm around my shoulder, rubbing my arm. "nothing." I said. she gave me a look. "I just- I don't know. I don't see a point to anything we do here anymore." "but I thought you loved kill-" "the killing's fun, yes. but there's something missing. I don't know Jane. I just want to be-" "be what?" "I wish I could sleep. could dream. I wish..." "you wish you were...human..?" she asked cautiously. I shook my head. "no. I love being a vampire. not human. just...I wish I could feel alive. alive again. Like I am a part of this world. not just hiding out behind castle walls." I admitted. she looked at me for a long, silent moment. "I don't know how to help you with that Alec. I'm sorry. but I hope you'll come out soon. I'm so sorry." she said. I could tell she truly was. "it's alright." I said. suddenly, with my super hearing, I heard Demitri. "Jane!" he called. she didn't hear him, or chose to ignore. I smiled. "I think you're fan boy is calling for you." I said, teasing. she had moved over to the desk where I now sat. she looked at my gift from yesterday. "You need to use this. now." she ordered. "Jane!" called Demitri from some distant corner of the castle. she made a pouty face. "Can I hide here?" she asked. I laughed. "Jane, he's the best tracker in existence. hiding isn't going to help you." I said. "but he's terrified of you. that could help?" she begged. I laughed, pushing my sister towards the door. "no." with that, I pushed her out. then I fell on my bed. too many thoughts crowded my mind.

I sat up, and looked over at the MP3 Player. "might as well." I said. I laughed as I heard Jane squeal and smack Demitri. I didn't want to know what he did this time. I got up and went over to my desk, logging onto my laptop. signing into I Tunes, I redeemed my cards and set to work on spending the money and looking for new artists. when I had bought all the songs I loved, (which was quite a lot), I still had two fifty left over. two hundred and fifty that is. I tapped my finger, scrolling through youtube.

I had looked up one of my favorite artists, but looked at the videos related to the genre of music. one in particular caught my attention after an hour of listening to music. " Running up that hill by StarsInYourEyes" I looked at it for a moment, contemplating. the person has used their youtube account name. "hmm..." I moved the mouse over and clicked play.

it began with a steady, soft beat, growing like thunder. then her voice came in. it was near angelic, if it truly was angelic. there was no way a voice like that could be human. I noticed it was only clip art and lyrics. it didn't show the singer. but she had the most amazing voice I had ever heard in all my years, and so much emotion, it was almost overwhelming. if I were human, i'd have been crying.

" _It doesn't hurt me. You wanna feel how it feels? You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me? You wanna hear about the deal I'm making? You be running up that hill_  
_ You and me be running up that hill. And if I only could, Make a deal with God, And get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building. If I only could, oh... You don't want to hurt me, But see how deep the bullet lies. Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder. There is thunder in our hearts, baby._  
_ So much hate for the ones we love? Tell me, we both matter, don't we?" _ I listened in awe to the rest of the song, having quickly subscribed to the artist. there was a link to other songs, which I listened to. the singer was amazing. then I saw something that made what would have been my heart leap for joy. she was on I Tunes. I quickly clicked on the link and downloaded every single song of hers, using up the last of my money.

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JANE'S POV

Dimitri insisted on showing me the new family of mice he had tracked. I don't know why he tracked mice all the time. it was probably because he had nothing better to do. suddenly, I felt something deep inside. I couldn't name it to save my life, but it was strong. My Brother. we'd always sort of had that "psychic twin power" that humans referred to. the closest thing I could compare the feeling to was... hope? hope... My brother's hope... why? he hadn't felt that in such a long time. it made me glad, but confused. why? I knew Alec. he probably couldn't even tell he was feeling hope. "Dimitri, I need to go." I said, before running from his pouty face.

"Alec! Alec, are you alright?" I asked, banging on the door. no answer. instead of knocking again, I burst through the doors. he was lying on his bed, earbuds in, MP3 Player in hand. his eyes were closed. he was smiling. "Alec?" I asked, shaking him. he sat up, taking the earbuds out. "What is it?" "Are you ok?" "yes..." " ." "what is it jane?" "nothing." I said. I looked at him. there was something different. I think. I couldn't really tell. I gave him a hug, then ran out, back to Dimitri.

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Alec's POV

that was weird. what was up with jane? whatever. she always was a weirdo. I placed the earbuds back in, and hit play. "_And if I only could,Make a deal with God, And get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, With no problems..._" she finished. then the next song began. I closed my eyes and let the beauty of her voice and words and emotion envelope me in peacefulness. my mind was finally at rest.


	3. Chapter 3

so, the song I used in the last chap was running up that hill, and there's many variations of it. Placebo, Kate bush, within temptation, track and field. anyways, I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you will enjoy.

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_"I woke up late Guess I'm never really early I hesitate, only to fail. I get so tired, of procrastinating I need a change I can't do this I can't do this I cant do this by myself I cant do this I cant do this Oh God, I need Your help I'm standing still I'm oh, so peaceful I cant pretend, that I'm fine I get so ill, crazy, agitated When I've not really died..." _she sang. God, I loved her voice. I would stay like this forever if the MP3 didn't need charging and I didn't need feeding. I could smell the humans the instant they stepped foot into the castle walls. my hunger strengthened my already heightened senses. I opened my pitch black eyes. I hadn't fed in a month. I haven't left my room in two. I just stayed in here, and listened to her angel's songs.

I sat up, pausing the music. I think I surprised my masters, by appearing by their side so suddenly. "Alec! You've returned to us!" clapped Aro. I would object, but in truth, I had left them. for the sanctuary of my room and the comfort and serenity of her voice. I merely looked at them, hunger burning in my eyes. " Hungry, are we?" asked Aro. I nodded. the humans came in. I was worse than ever before. I took out the majority. not bothering to help clean up the mess I made, I was in my room once more.

"_Dreaming comes so easily 'cause it's all that I've known True love is a fairy tale I'm damaged, so how would I know I'm scared and I'm alone I'm ashamed And i need for you to know I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say And you can't take back what you've taken away 'cause I feel you, I feel you near me I didn't say all the things that i wanted to say And you can't take back what you've taken away 'cause I feel you, I feel you near me Healing comes so painfully And it chills to the bone Will anyone get close to me? I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know There's mending for my soul An ending to this fear Forgiveness for a man who was stronger I was just a little girl, but I can't go back..." _she sang. one of the reasons I loved her songs so much was because her words. her words spoke to me. I understood the hidden meanings in the lyrics. she put the pain and ager and suffering I had known for hundreds of years into words of beauty that screamed the truth. it was as if she knew me.

I still had yet to see what the singer looked like, this "Stars In Your Eyes", or Star, as I preferred to call her. in every video for every song, it was always clip art and lyrics. this girl really was private about herself. I didn't even know how old she was. I was online now, downloading some new songs of hers. and on you tube. a knock came on my door. "Enter." I said. I knew it was Jane, or else I would have denied them.

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JANE'S POV

"Alec...? Allie?" I said, using my old nick name for him. "yes?" he said, not bothering to look up from the computer screen. "Alec... can we talk?" I asked, sitting down on his bed. "Alec..?" I said, a pleading tone in my voice. he sighed, his shoulders slumped. "What is it Jane?" he said, turning in the chair to face me. "Alec. What is going on? why are you being like this? I haven't seen you out of this room for a month until today. you only come out when necessary. What's going on with you? What's wrong? tell me, please Alec?" I said, barely a whisper. he looked at me, sighed again, and moved over to the bed to sit next to me. " I... I don't know. life... is so noisy, and crowded, and chaotic. I can't stand the silence because it gives me time to think. and all I can see is all the death and destruction we've done. I've done." "But don't you like Killing?" "not... not anymore. something... something's changed. it's not the same. it doesn't... feel good anymore... I don't know..." he sighed. "it doesn't satisfy anymore." he said.

I didn't quite understand him anymore. our connection was wavering. I didn't know what he meant. I tried, but I continued to fail to comprehend what he meant. he acknowledged this. "Hear. Listen." he said, walking over to the computer. I joined by his side. he ran through the list of songs, and clicked on one. "listen." he said, turning it up.

"_So hear yourself, fine idea colonies here. I stopped being in front of you ages ago. Is it gonna be another self bidding note? Cuz I'm so sick of everything, Mostly sick of myself being pathetic for so long It somehow fells of me crying all my life I'm almost saying my vision of everything filtered through rain I wish, I could even wish for something to happen I can no longer hope, feeling something or dreaming was no longer up Somewhere in my foolish child being, I dare not hope, I dare not fight. Say goodbye to the comfort, I only wish I could be unlearnt, completely forgotten Me and my meaning was journeying through life Can I just fade away?" _the girl sang. I recognized her name. Stars In Your Eyes. From Alec's MP3 Player. every time I checked on him, she was playing.

I looked at him as the song finished a few minutes later. "Why did you want me to listen to that?" I asked. he looked at me, an unreadable expression crossed his eyes. " you don't understand, do you? No one understands us!" he yelled, angry. "Us? Whose us? Alec?" I said. he stood up now, glaring at me. " Us. Me and her!" he said, pointing to the computer screen. "No one understands us. No One!" he yelled. "But Alec-" "get out! NOW!" he yelled. "Alec-" "Before I rip you to pieces..." he growled. I was truly afraid of my brother.

I looked at him once more, then ran out of there at lightning speed. I ran right into Dimitri. he caught me in his arms and held me still. if I could have, I'd be sobbing. but now I only dry cried. "Jane? Jane, what's wrong?" he asked, worried. "Alec..." I whispered. "What about him? Jane, what happened?" he asked. "He... Threatened to rip me to pieces..." " Oh, Jane, I'm sure he was just kidding." "No... 'Mitri, I am so scared right now." he started to pull away. "No. Just hold me tight." I said. he complied, and held onto me, taking us to my room. we laid on my bed, him holding me while I dry cried. "Sh-sh-sh... It'll be alright..." he soothed, brushing away the hair from my face. we stayed like that for a few hours. just laying there, not moving. he held onto me, while I sobbed and didn't move for fear of my brother. a fear i'd never known before.

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ALEC'S POV

I was so angry after Jane left. Not even she understood me. I growled, sending objects flying about my room. Not even my own twin sister knew me now. there was only Star. Only Star left for me. the only one who really understood me. who put my pain into words of beauty. I crashed to my bed and plugged in my earbuds, turning the volume up all the way.

"_I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll. I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds. But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to. Lost all faith in the things I have achieved. And I. I've woken now to find myself. In the shadows of all I have created. I'm longing to be lost in you. (away from this place I have made) Won't you take me away from me. Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins. I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed. I can't go on like this. I loathe all I've become. Lost in a dying world I reach for something more. I have grown so weary of this lie I live. I've woken now to find myself. In the shadows of all I have created. I'm longing to be lost in you. I have woken now to find myself. I'm lost in shadows of my own. I'm longing to be lost in you. Away from me._" she sang. I listened to song after song after song of hers, tuning the world and my anger out.

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well, here you go guys! I hope you liked it! the songs are (in order of appearance) [ I can't do this - plumb], [ damaged - plumb], [ erase me - elysion], [ away from me- evanescence]. hope you liked it and please review! :D luv u!


	4. Chapter 4

hey guys! :D enjoy and review!

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JANE'S POV

it's been a year and a half since Alec snapped at me. I have seen him a total of five times, not including when he would come out to feed. he hardly did that, and when he did, he was so fast that all you got to see was a flash and the mess he left behind. sometimes, I would go up to his bedroom door, and raise my hand to knock, and then I stop myself and turn away. the boy in that room isn't my brother. our connection was all but gone now.

Aro was worried at first, then angry, and now he just deals with it. we haven't had to use Alec's powers so there was no need for him to be summoned. but I still missed him, and wanted him to get over whatever it was that was holding onto him and come out and we could just be like we were before. but that was not going to happen.

I walked into the throne room, having nothing better to do. Caius was gone somewhere, and Aro was probably in his study. it was just Marcus there. "What is troubling you, young one?" he asked in his monotone, sleepy voice. "Nothing, Master Marcus." I said, ducking my head down. "It is your brother, isn't it?" he said, looking at me. " I - yes...?" I said. he gave me a ghost imitation of a knowing smile. " ah... he has not come out of his room I take it?" I nodded. "well, then why don't you go in?" he asked. "Because the last time I did so, he threatened to rip me to pieces." I said. "He meant it?" "Yes." "well, now that's too bad. how can we fix this...? do you know why he is like this?" "not exactly." "what do you know?" "he has identified himself with a singer. he has downloaded all her songs, and he says that killing is no longer satisfying. he has changed. we no longer even have our old connection." "ah... yes, I see. your relationship is not changed in the way you assume though." "what do you mean?" "you think you have lost your brother to his own hatred, and that is why you two are apart. it is quite the contrary. if you were to go to your brother now, provided he is in a calm mood, he will receive you as he once did. it is not hatred, but another emotion that makes him distance himself. go to him, young one. talk to him, and maybe things will turn out alright." he said. " go on child. go." he said, waving his hand.

not knowing what else to do, I left the throne room. I walked to my room, but stopped at the door. I looked back to see Alec's door closed. I sighed, and bit my lip. then I gathered my courage and walked over to it, knocking softly. I waited for a nerve-racking minute until the door gently slid open. revealing Alec. my brother. "Alec?" I breathed. "Jane?" he asked, looking at me in surprise. "Can- can I come in?" I asked. he nodded, and moved aside, letting me in.

"Jane, why are you here?" he asked quietly. "Because I missed my brother. I had to see if you were still here. or if you were numbing yourself." I said. he looked at me. I noticed the MP3 Player in his hand. Star was playing. "I missed you too." he said. I smiled, but it was a quick one, short lived. "Then why didn't you come out?" "I didn't know how to face you, after...what I did." he said, looking down. I placed my hand on his shoulder. "That doesn't matter. what matters is you, my brother. I want to know if you're ok. why haven't you come out? what's going on with you?" I asked.

there was a moment of silence before he answered. "Jane... You're still with Dimitri, yes?" I was caught off guard. "Y-Yes..." "Do you love him?" "what?" "do you love Dimitri?" "I-I... what does this have to do with anything?" I asked. " do you...remember what love felt like?" "not really, why?" "Jane...I ...think... I think that I am in love." he breathed. "what?" I gasped.

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haha! gotta wait till next time to see what happens! luv you all! no, seriously, I would continue this, but I gotta log off and clean the kitchen before my dad gets home. sorry! bye!


	5. Chapter 5

**here you go guys! thank you so much!**

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JANE'S POV

"what?" I gasped. he looked at me, a sudden shyness in his eyes. I swallowed my surprise. I was his sister. he wanted me to accept and help him. not freak out on him. "are you sure?" I asked. "well, I at least really, _really_ like this girl." "Okay... who is it? Heidi? one of the guard?" I asked. somehow, I knew the answer, but I wanted it to be any other answer then the one he'd give. the one he gave. " Star." he said simply, as if it were alright. "Alec..." I said, my voice shaking. "Are you sure that you love her? how can you? you've never even seen her face." "It's... Her words. I... she..." he sighed, before trying again. "You saw how far gone I was. God, I was numbing myself! but she... her words... they broke through the chaos. she... understands me. I've thought this many times. she takes my ugly pain and turns it into beauty. she sings with such emotion. Jane... I think I really really like her." he said, looking up at me.

i sighed. "Alec... you have to be sure. because, you know what will happen if..." i started again in a soft whisper. "If _they _find out. if you're gonna say you like her, you have to be sure." i said. " i know. i know. i am... pretty sure." he said. i knew i wasn't going to get a better answer out of him. "Ok, Alec. Ok." i said. i rubbed his shoulder. "So...what do you want to do about it?" i asked. if he was telling me, there had to be something i could do. "I want to meet her. Get to know her. i want to see her at least once." he said. "Well, that could be arranged. wait here." i said. _i can't believe i'm doing this... if the masters found out... why am i doing this? _i thought as i ran from the room.

" 'Mitri. i need your help." i said. he looked up from the book he was reading. "What is it love?" he asked. i tried not to flinch at his nick name for me. "It's alec." i said. "what did he do now?" he asked, defensive. "Nothing. well. nothing really. but we need the help of the best tracker in the world." i said. he smiled. "Come on." i said. we both ran back to Alec's room. i could tell Demetri was scared of my brother, so i took his hand in mine before we went in.

"Alec, i got help." i said. "Demetri." "alec." they greeted. i rolled my eyes. "Demetri, i need you to keep an open mind. and i need you to swear to never tell." i said. "Why?" "just do it." "fine. i swear never to tell and to keep an open mind. now whats going on?" he asked. i sat him down on the bed. " ok... listen." we both began to tell the tale of Alec's new obsession. Alec told most of it, while i told my parts of the story. Demetri listened, an unreadable expression on his face. when we finished, i spoke, " Mitri, please. this means a lot to him, therefore a lot to me. please?" i begged. he looked at me for a moment before speaking.

"I'll help." he said. i smiled. " thank you!" i said, hugging him. "so, let's see." he said, sitting down at Alec's desk. " show me this, "star"." he said. alec leaned over him and went onto her you tube channel. "Stars In Your Eyes? that's her pen name?" "yeah." "does she ever say her real name?" "no." "her location?" "no." "does she ever show her face?" "...no." "Alec!" "What?" "Of all the people in the world, you choose the one i can't track?" "What do you mean?" "i need at least one of those things to track someone. i need to see her face." "well, what can we do then?" i asked, worried. Alec looked awful. but also like he was thinking. "Come on. we can try something else later." i said. i could tell Alec wanted to be alone. he'd just had his hope crushed. "i'm sorry." i whispered as we left.

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two weeks later:

"Jane! Demetri! Come here!" yelled alec. Demetri and i looked up, then ran to Alec's room. "what is it? what's wrong brother?" i asked, worried. he was sitting at his computer. "Nothing is wrong. in fact, i think something might be right." he said.

a smile grew wide across his face. "listen." he said, taking his head phones out of the speaker and turning it up. a video began. "Hey guys, its stars in your eyes here. just wanted to update all my fans on what's going on. so, my aunt is taking me on a trip to... the UK! yup, we'll be visiting all sorts of places. here's a few clips of some of them." pictures slid by on the screen. "yup. i'll be gone for a month. i'll have my laptop, but none of my recording gear, so no new songs guys. sorry! but i will be online to chat, just not sing. sorry again. uhm... i believe we're leaving two days from now, and we'll be back in a month. so, till then, bye guys! love you all! Stars in Your Eyes, signing off for now."

we both looked at the screen, then Alec, in amazement. " ' Mitri, could you track her then?" i asked, hopeful. Alec's was a look of a child's pure hope. something neither of us had felt in a long time. " if i saw her face, i could, yeah." he said. "Great!" alec said, jumping up. i smiled. i couldn't help myself. to see Alec so happy, it was a blessing. no one had seen him like this in a long, long time. even when we were human.

wth nothing more to do, demetri and i left. but as i stepped out the door, i smiled at alec. suddenly, i heard a voice in my head. "Thank you, sister." i smiled wider. it had been a long time since we had comminucated this way. my mind had felt empty when he withdrew for that dark period of time. "Only for you, brother." i thought. i heard him laugh, then left.

i couldn't believ it. we might actually find her. this "star", my brother was so obsessed with. i couldn't understand how he could claim to "really really like" her, when all he knows is her voice. it made no sense. but if he was happy, then i would support him. but somewhere in the pit of my stomach, a bad feeling began to form. why did it have to be a human he would like? why? he knew what would happen if the Masters found out. but so did i , and Demetri, yet we were helping him. nothing made sense now. why?

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so what you guys think? let me know in the reviews! thank you! :D


	6. Chapter 6

**hey guys! let me know what you think! any tips? suggestions? please?**

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" I don't know guys." I said as we drove in the stylish fancy car. "Come on alec! you're this close to meeting her,you can't back out now." my sister said. Demetri was driving, one hand on the wheel, the other holding my sister's. I had brought my laptop, reading and keeping an eye out for updates. one popped up. "Here guys. there's a new one." I said, clicking to open it. I read it for them. " Hey fans! we're about to touchdown in good ol' London International Airport! I can see the city. everyone looks like ants! well, got to go." I read.

demetri was thinking. " well her flight we are assuming is coming from the U.S, so we'll search that area. her voice, well, it's impossible to tell her age. she sounds young when she speaks, but her singing is the voice of a more experienced person, so... has she ever given away anything that could identify her?" he asked, looking in the rearview mirror at me. I thought for a moment, going through all her old updates. "yeah, she did once." "well what was it?" Jane asked.

I found the video and clicked on it. it only lasted a minute and a half. I turned the screen towards them. it began. "Hey guys! Stars here! I just really wanted to share with you guys my new found happiness. my aunt bought me a backpack. it's black leather and red velvet. it's a coffin! an on the side she put a patch on there just for me that says " music = life", plus a bunch of pins from my fav bands! i'm so excited! i'm taking this with me _everywhere_!" she said. pictures of it began in a slide show. the video ended. " if she really is carrying it with her everywhere, then it'll be easy to spot." demetri commented. "yeah." I said. my stomach was tying in knots the closer we got to the airport.

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JANE'S POV

inside the airport, there were all sorts of people, some of them stranger then _us_, so we didn't stand out too much. I stood beside my pacing brother. I culd feel the nervous energy emanating from him in waves. _Brother, calm down. it'll be alright. __**no it won't. jane, i'm so nervous. why? **__because you're a major fanboy and you're meeting your idol. anyone would be nervous. __**is that all? **__yes- _"I think she'll be coming off one of these two flights." demetri said, pointing to two. we nodded and headed in that direction. it was all too easy for us to slip in.

I held demetri's hand as my brother paced, eagerly searching the crowd for her bag, leading to her. but he was so nervous, he was almost a wreck. _Alec, be still. calm. __**but I don't see her.**__ only one plane has landed. she is most likely on the other. __**are you sure?**__ Alec, calm down or you will embarrass yourself. and we wouldn't want that. __**you're right. you're right **__of course I am. aren't I always? __**yeah, sure jane. **__calm down boy. _

there was no response, as the other plane hd landed and the passengers had gotten off, gong to claim their luggage. all our ruby red eyes scanned the crowd. those who gave us looks, assumed we wee a member of the "goth" group of society. we had fed before coming as a precautionary measure. I felt it as soon as he did. _Jane... the bag. _I looked in the direction he did. and I saw it.

* * *

ALEC' POV

I was so nervous, not even my sister's sarcastic remarks could help. then I spotted it. a leather bag with red velvet and spikes in the shape of a coffin, with band patches and pins and "music = life" in big letters. her bag. i tensed, my stomach was twisting itself into knots, so many knots. jane's spare hand slipped into mine, and she gave me an encouraging smile. i took a deep breathe. then i started to follow after the bag.

she headed to the baggage claim, like everyone else. i couldn't see her well, even with my sight. i got into the back of the group that was waiting, making my way to her. she was tapping her fingers on her leg, moving slightly to an unheard tune. she had headphones in. i held back a smile. an old, leather suitecase, probably from the forties, came around. she picked it up, her tapping moving from her leg, to the case. she continued to wait. she must have another bag. theni saw one come out that _had _to be hers. it was a coffin. no, literally, that's what i thought it was at first. it was the right size. theni saw that it was a case. a guitar case. covered in band stickers ad graffiti. cool...

but the next thing i knew, as she went to go pick it up and carry it away, she tripped over her own booted feet and fell. to the ground right in front of me. her bag fell open, her belongings spilling out. the same for her case, popping open. i froze. i came to my senses and knealt down. hands shaking terribly, i helped her pick up her things. she didn't look up to see me, just worked quickly, looking down. then our hands touched. I frose in place. suddenly my sister was by my side. she smiled at the girl, who was trying to take one of her shirts out from under my grip, and said. "I apologize for my brother. he can get like this sometimes. here, let me help you." she said, quickly covering for me. _what happened alec? **i don't know.** well, nice going. ** sorry.**_ no response.

i recovered from the shock and reached over, closing her guitar case. i picked it up, and wit th other hand, i helped her up. "Here,let me carry this for you. where are you going to?" i said. " my aunt is waiting for me outside." she said. i nodded, my eyes down. _**alec, we came to find her so you could actually see what she looks like. ** i know, i know._ so i looked up at her. and was blown away. she had a thin, soft face. pale skin, so smooth looking. she had full lips, a slight redness to them naturally. and she had the most beautiful eyes i had ever seen. bright, bright, clear, beautiful, intricate, beautiful, soulful green eyes. green eye. and one... blue one, just as stunning as the other. she had one blue eye, one green eye. they captivated me. and her hair was obviously a dyed candy red.

she looked away fom me, to my sister, then back again, then to jane. "You guys... you guys have interesting eyes." she stammered. oh no! our eyes! " contacts. but thank you." said jane smoothly. "Oh! Cool!" she said. _thanks jane. **no problem.**_ Demetri joined us, looking at her. he gave me a questioning look, as if to say, "is this her? i nodded, unnoticeably to humans. he continued to look at her for a minute, then turned to jane smiling. "Who's this love?" he asked. "Oh, we were just helping her to her car." she replied. the girl looked from Jane to Demetri as demetri planted a kiss on jane's head. this must have definitely looked odd to a human. Jane and i looked like we were sixteen. fifteen. demetri looked to be about his mid to late twenties. she shook her head and said. "This way." she said, leading us out the doors.

we walked along the side walk, past all the cars. we walked to the end of the street. "I can take it from here." she said. the overhead protected us from the downpour that hd started. "No, we insist." jane said. i slipped off my coat and wrapped it around her case. she looked at all of us, smiling vampires. "ok.." she said. she opened an umbrella, just as jane did, who held it above both her and Demetri, while he carried the girl's bag.

we walked to the parking lot, and took the elevator to the top level. we walked with her to a car parked near the back. a woman in the driver's seat got out, holding her coat over her head, running to us. "Hey!" she greeted. she looked like she had stepped out of time. A gypsy. this took me by surprise. this must be her aunt. "hello, who are your friends dear?" "Huh? Oh, they're just helping me." "Oh, kind of them. Interesting eyes." "Contacts." the woman opened the trunk, and we loaded Star's things into it. I closed the trunk, and turned to look at her. "Well... I hope you have a nice time. " I said. I was about to ask her name, when a sudden gust of wind surprised us. it lifted her hair up around her face. the wind blew in my direction.

* * *

JANE'S POV

Alec and I were about to ask her name. he had been so nervous around her. I sensed as all the nervousness left his body, which stiffened. the breeze blew the girl's hair around... and her scent towards us. towards alec. _Alec, alec, control yourself. don't do anything. you'll regret it. resist her. resist her alec. _ I screamed in our minds. his body tensed, I could see him slightly moving into a hunting position. _no alec! _I had to stop it. "Well, we had better get going now. hope you have a nice time. come along brother. Dmitri." I said, giving him a look. he smiled at the girl and we began to walk away, dragging my brother with me.

when we were out of sight, I looked at alec. his eyes were black. he was breathing deep, still in hunter mode. "Alec, calm down." I said. he hissed at me, and ran. he was gone. I looked to Dmitri. "Can you track him later? he needs time alone. Just make sure he doesn't go near the girl." I said. he nodded.

* * *

ALEC'S POV

what is _wrong _with me?! I could have _killed _her! I should have known this would not go over well! what did I expect? that we'd become friends in the first few minutes of me carrying her bag? _WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! _I could have killed her! I could have killed her! I could have... killed her... I was hidden away somewhere deep in an unknown forest, rocking back and forth, my head in my hands. I could have killed her. I could have killed her... why?

she smelled so good. so, so good. like pumpkin spice on an October evening by the fire, the wood smoke mixed in. and like fresh apples, or the blossoms. or like lavender. or like the freshest, cleanest breeze blowing over a rural field. or like wild flowers. or like rain. all of those separate scents appealed to me very much so. the hunger, the thirst, burned in my throat like never before. it seared my insides and left me wanting. I had never felt this thirst before. it was much more fierce. I fell to my side, clutching my stomach. my mouth hung open, gasping. I was so thirsty.

my senses picked up on a heart beat close by. the hunger won and I flew to it. it wasn't human, but it no longer mattered. I knew nothing would satiate me now. I ran after it, sinking my teeth into the fur of the mountain loin. it wasn't enough. I ran through the forest, drinking every drop of everything in reach. while my body said I was filled, I still had that hunger burning deep in my throat. I wanted _her_. I wanted her blood. but I couldn't, I just couldn't.

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**so, what you think? please, please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**hello people! thank you all for reviewing, and I will try to work on my punctuation and all that. please review!**

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it's been eight months. _Eight months. _since the incident at the airport. and everyday, no matter how much I drink, I always have that burning desire for her blood. it's nearly driven me insane. I am never satisfied. I learned to control it somewhat, enough to be around others, but it was a constant companion. Jane would visit me daily, attempting to get me out of my room for any other reason than to just hunt. it never worked.

today, I was at my desk, on my computer. I had just finished downloading her new songs. I was deep in thought. there was the option to message her, but I had always been too nervous to do it. but today, my mouse clicked on the message button. in the box, I wrote how I was a big fan of hers, and how much I loved her music, and how passionate she was about her music. then I clicked "send" I sighed, and hit play on one of her new songs. "Seven Devils." it had just reached, "_Seven devils all around you. Seven devils in your I was dead when I woke up this morning. I'll be dead before the day is done. Before the day is done. Before the day is done. Before the day is done. They can keep me out. 'Til I tear the walls. 'Til I save your heart. And to take your soul. For what has been done. Cannot be undone. In the evil's heart_  
_In the evil's soul. Seven devils all around you." _the end, when I heard a bleep. She's replied! I clicked on my inbox and read the message. "Thank you for all the compliments! no really, thanks. I didn't realize I had such a bug fan. I'm glad. here, just a special something for my biggest fan, how about a request? any song you want." I was so happy. she hardly ever did requests.

_Alec, what's going on? **Nothing. **Alec...**just. come in. **_Jane was at my door almost instantly. she came in. "What is it?" she asked. "I sent her a message through youtube. And..." "And what?" "She responded." "Really? What'd she say?" "She's giving me a request. Jane, she hardly _ever_ gives requests." "Wow. That's awesome. What are you gonna have her sing?" "I don't know yet." "Well, congrats." "Jane!" echoed off the walls. "ugh. Dimitri. bye." she said, disappearing.

I laid back in my chair, then typed. "Thanks! and you're welcome. they were all true. And I already have in mind a song." and I added the song, and clicked send. a minute later, she replied. "Thanks anyways. And that song? Sure, I'll do it. you want it like the original, or can I add my style to it?" "Your style." "Okiedokes. well, I better start working on it. Good night LifeinMusic." "Good night." I spun in my chair. she was doing the song for me.

* * *

two weeks later, a new video just uploaded to her page. I called in Jane and of course Dimitri followed. I clicked play. It began with a black screen and red letters, reading as follows. " This is for a special subscriber, LifeinMusic. this is a request of theirs. and I hope you all enjoy! these are some of the pics from my trip. well, here you go." said her voice. then the song began. it wasn't that same instruments, or even the same beat really. it had her style to it. it was Guitar and piano. and it was slower. she began to sing in her angel's voice. we listened intently.

"_ My life is brilliant. My life is brilliant. My love is pure. I saw an angel. Of that I'm sure. She smiled me on the subway. She was with another man. But I won't lose no sleep on that, 'Cause I've got a plan. You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, it's true. I saw your face in a crowded place, And I don't know what to do, 'Cause I'll never be with you. Yes, she caught my eye, As I walked on by. She could see from my face that I was, Flying high, And I don't think that I'll see her again, But we shared a moment that will last till the end. You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, it's true, I saw your face in a crowded place, And I don't know what to do, 'Cause I'll never be with 're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true. There must be an angel with a smile on her face, When she thought up that I should be with you. But it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you.._.." she finished in a low, long note.

if I had a heart, it would be bursting with happiness. Jane and Dimitri looked a little confused. Jane sent him out. "Alec. that was your request, but it was dedicated to her, wasn't it?" she asked, looking at me sadly. "Yes." "Why do you say ' you'll never be with her'?" "Jane! Come on! I'm volturi. I'm a vampire. I'm in Italy. She's Human. and lives god-knows-where. I can never be with her. I can't even see her from a distance." I said. good mood gone. why couldn't she see the obvious?

"I'm sorry Alec. I was just asking. But I mean, 'Mitri knows her face now. he can track her. you could see her?" she suggested. I thought about it. I could... I could go see her... but the burning in my throat reminded me of the issue with that plan. "I can't." I said. "Well, consider it." she replied, rubbing my back before leaving. I sighed. I wanted to see her. so, so badly. but I knew part of that reason was so I breathe her in again, and I didn't know if I could handle that again. she could die if I went to see her.

* * *

_Jane. **Yes? **Ok. **Good, i'll arrange everything. **t-thank you. **no problem.**_ I was laying on my bed. had been for three straight days. Listening to her. and the more I listened to her, the more I wanted to see her perfect face, her mismatched eyes, the more I craved it. finally, I had given into my wanting.

Jane arranged it to where Dimitri would go on ahead. Of course three of the most prominent members of the guard couldn't just leave without an explanation. that explanation was that we were going on a little retreat, for my 'mental health', a change in scenery. we didn't know how long we'd be gone. Aro agreed to it full heartedly. he didn't want to lose one of his favorites forever to some mental issue. and I believe he was genuinely worried.

we packed and waited until we got a call from Dimitri telling us where she was. We got that call at 1:34 am. we got tickets for the next plane out. and we were on the plane, out of Italy, and over the ocean. Jane was relaxed next to me. Dimitri would be picking us up. I was fighting with my mind, staring blankly out the window at the dark sky, watching the sun come up. then I pulled down the shade, blocking out its beauty.

we landed, got our things, and walked out of the airport. it was once again raining, but it was a misty rain, not a downpour. Dimitri was waiting for us and loaded our things into the car, a sleek mustang, black. Jane got shotgun, and I sat behind the driver's seat. I should have known he'd pick an oldie. it was one of the things he loved. Old cars. this was a 1967 fastback mustang. I leaned against the door, looking out the window as the scenery passed by .

everything was too green here. and wet. I was used to the hot sunny days of Volterra, not this mushy green place. "So, where is she?" Jane asked. "Well, actually. we won't be going to where she is. we're going a few hours away." "Why?" "it's where we're staying until things get figured out." "Where are we staying Dimitri." he didn't have to answer. we pulled up their long driveway, parking outside the modern half-glass house. Dr. Cullen was outside, with open arms and a smile on his face. the rest were inside, not as welcoming. "What?" asked jane in disbelief. I was shocked too, into silence actually.

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**I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I KNOW ITS TAKEN FOREVER. I'VE JUST BEEN CAUGHT UP IN MY STAR TREK FIC. I AM SO SORRY! FORGIVE ME!**


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